Building Confidence: What Should You Be?
Question: What is the best personality or the best identity for you to assume?
Answer: Anything you want to be! A cheerful friend, a businesslike executive, a caring listener. Whatever is best at the time. Different circumstances require different attitudes.
For example, to be a bossy manager at work might be appropriate, but you might drive your spouse crazy if the identity continues at home. To be a rowdy sports fan at a game is great, but not what you should be when asking for a raise.
The reason people have trouble determining who or what they should BE is because they don't start with HAVE.
"Children in the West are commonly asked `What are you going to BE when you grow up?' It is a silly question and can drive any child up the wall. Because it's the wrong question—hits the wrong end of the cycle."
"He is also asked, `What are you going to DO in life?' That's just as bad. It is quite difficult to answer."
"If we asked children, `What do you want to PRODUCE in life?' we could probably get a workable answer. From that he could figure out what he'd have to do to produce that and from that he could know what he had to BE. Then, with a little cooperation he would be able to lead a happy and valuable life."
"A lot of people and businesses fail because they don't do this." — L. Ron Hubbard
Example: A young man likes to cook and make people happy. He may decide the product (HAVE) he wants to produce is: "Properly fed, happy people who pay a lot of money for the dining experience at my successful restaurant."
Based on this decision, he works out his career by listing the steps (DO) which include enrolling in a cooking school, working at several restaurants for the experience, saving money, and so on. His planning is accurate and efficient. The young man then works out the best identity for the job (BE). He needs to BE a successful restaurateur: proud, charming, service-oriented, smart and wealthy.
To put his plan into action, this young man starts the cycle with BE and assumes this identity as the first step. He strolls around BEING a successful restaurateur from day one. He's proud, charming and service-oriented. He even feels wealthy.
He can then easily DO the steps needed to get what he wants to HAVE: a successful restaurant with happy customers. He accomplishes this much faster and more easily than a person who cannot BE a successful restaurateur until he owns the restaurant.
If you want success and wealth, BE wealthy or successful before you get there. It’s fun!
Assume a wealthy identity. Test drive a big new Mercedes. Stroll through a $10-million building as if you own it. People will want to be around you. Bankers will try to lend you money. You'll feel great!
Exercise
While this exercise focuses on making money, you can do this with any goal.
1. Take out a blank piece of paper. At the bottom of the sheet, write down how much money you want to earn per month, one year from now.
2. Above the dollar amount write down what you need to produce (HAVE) that someone would pay you that much money for. What final product must you produce that is worth the amount of money you want to earn?
For example, a plumber wants to earn $8,000 per month in profit. He calculates his overhead costs and determines he needs to produce or HAVE "$20,000 per month in high-quality plumbing work to happy customers who refer."
A dental receptionist who wants to earn $3500 per month might determine she needs to produce much more than "scheduled patients." She talks to the dentist and decides she needs to produce "a dental practice that doubles in productivity through my clever scheduling so I can earn $3500 per month."
The partners of a law firm decide they want their group to bill and collect $500,000 per month.
What do you need to produce to earn the money you wrote in step 1? Write this down.
3. In the middle of your sheet of paper, write down what you need to DO to reach that level of productivity. This is planning at its finest; you start with the final result and work backwards.
Before you achieved the above product, what would you do? Before that? Before that? Plan your steps from this future point in time back to the present.
For example, the plumber needs to DO more promotional actions, delegate responsibility to his assistants and make sure every customer is completely satisfied.
The dental receptionist needs to organize the schedule better, make more reminder calls to patients and keep the doctor busier.
The law firm needs to hire more associates, attract wealthier clients and win more cases.
4. At the top of the page, write what you need to BE to accomplish the plan and obtain the final product.
The plumber might need to BE a responsible manager and not a fun-loving worker. He may decide he needs to BE a successful business owner.
The dental receptionist needs to BE the boss of the patients’ and doctor’s time, not just be a receptionist. She needs to BE a successful manager.
The law firm needs to BE the most powerful law firm in town. It moves to the biggest building in town, hires the best decorators money can buy and gives an overwhelming feeling of strength.
Whatever you write at the top of your paper is what you need to BE. It's the most effective identity you can assume. BE THIS PERSON RIGHT NOW.
Now that you are BEING the correct identity for this goal, DO the action steps. You will then HAVE the money or goal.
Use this exercise in other areas of life. For example, to HAVE a successful marriage, what should you DO and BE? What do you need to DO and BE to HAVE a cheerful family, a successful business, a happy life?
Question: What is the best personality or the best identity for you to assume?
Answer: Anything you want to be! A cheerful friend, a businesslike executive, a caring listener. Whatever is best at the time. Different circumstances require different attitudes.
For example, to be a bossy manager at work might be appropriate, but you might drive your spouse crazy if the identity continues at home. To be a rowdy sports fan at a game is great, but not what you should be when asking for a raise.
The reason people have trouble determining who or what they should BE is because they don't start with HAVE.
"Children in the West are commonly asked `What are you going to BE when you grow up?' It is a silly question and can drive any child up the wall. Because it's the wrong question—hits the wrong end of the cycle."
"He is also asked, `What are you going to DO in life?' That's just as bad. It is quite difficult to answer."
"If we asked children, `What do you want to PRODUCE in life?' we could probably get a workable answer. From that he could figure out what he'd have to do to produce that and from that he could know what he had to BE. Then, with a little cooperation he would be able to lead a happy and valuable life."
"A lot of people and businesses fail because they don't do this." — L. Ron Hubbard
Example: A young man likes to cook and make people happy. He may decide the product (HAVE) he wants to produce is: "Properly fed, happy people who pay a lot of money for the dining experience at my successful restaurant."
Based on this decision, he works out his career by listing the steps (DO) which include enrolling in a cooking school, working at several restaurants for the experience, saving money, and so on. His planning is accurate and efficient. The young man then works out the best identity for the job (BE). He needs to BE a successful restaurateur: proud, charming, service-oriented, smart and wealthy.
To put his plan into action, this young man starts the cycle with BE and assumes this identity as the first step. He strolls around BEING a successful restaurateur from day one. He's proud, charming and service-oriented. He even feels wealthy.
He can then easily DO the steps needed to get what he wants to HAVE: a successful restaurant with happy customers. He accomplishes this much faster and more easily than a person who cannot BE a successful restaurateur until he owns the restaurant.
If you want success and wealth, BE wealthy or successful before you get there. It’s fun!
Assume a wealthy identity. Test drive a big new Mercedes. Stroll through a $10-million building as if you own it. People will want to be around you. Bankers will try to lend you money. You'll feel great!
Exercise
While this exercise focuses on making money, you can do this with any goal.
1. Take out a blank piece of paper. At the bottom of the sheet, write down how much money you want to earn per month, one year from now.
2. Above the dollar amount write down what you need to produce (HAVE) that someone would pay you that much money for. What final product must you produce that is worth the amount of money you want to earn?
For example, a plumber wants to earn $8,000 per month in profit. He calculates his overhead costs and determines he needs to produce or HAVE "$20,000 per month in high-quality plumbing work to happy customers who refer."
A dental receptionist who wants to earn $3500 per month might determine she needs to produce much more than "scheduled patients." She talks to the dentist and decides she needs to produce "a dental practice that doubles in productivity through my clever scheduling so I can earn $3500 per month."
The partners of a law firm decide they want their group to bill and collect $500,000 per month.
What do you need to produce to earn the money you wrote in step 1? Write this down.
3. In the middle of your sheet of paper, write down what you need to DO to reach that level of productivity. This is planning at its finest; you start with the final result and work backwards.
Before you achieved the above product, what would you do? Before that? Before that? Plan your steps from this future point in time back to the present.
For example, the plumber needs to DO more promotional actions, delegate responsibility to his assistants and make sure every customer is completely satisfied.
The dental receptionist needs to organize the schedule better, make more reminder calls to patients and keep the doctor busier.
The law firm needs to hire more associates, attract wealthier clients and win more cases.
4. At the top of the page, write what you need to BE to accomplish the plan and obtain the final product.
The plumber might need to BE a responsible manager and not a fun-loving worker. He may decide he needs to BE a successful business owner.
The dental receptionist needs to BE the boss of the patients’ and doctor’s time, not just be a receptionist. She needs to BE a successful manager.
The law firm needs to BE the most powerful law firm in town. It moves to the biggest building in town, hires the best decorators money can buy and gives an overwhelming feeling of strength.
Whatever you write at the top of your paper is what you need to BE. It's the most effective identity you can assume. BE THIS PERSON RIGHT NOW.
Now that you are BEING the correct identity for this goal, DO the action steps. You will then HAVE the money or goal.
Use this exercise in other areas of life. For example, to HAVE a successful marriage, what should you DO and BE? What do you need to DO and BE to HAVE a cheerful family, a successful business, a happy life?
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